I Am Jealous. There, I Said It.

Jealous pinI’m jealous. There, I said it.

I’m jealous of other families that don’t struggle like we do  I am jealous, I’m not proud of it. I am a green eyed monster. There are lots of things that make me jealous. Things that you probably haven’t given a thought to.

  • I’m jealous that you can go food shopping with your child and not have to dump your trolley and get them out because some company has changed their packaging or an unexpected announcement causes a meltdown.
  • I’m jealous that your child wants to put carrots out for Rudolf, watch Elf and get excited at Christmas.
  • I’m jealous you can stroke your child’s hair and take him for a haircut.
  • I’m jealous that going on holiday for us means six months of displaying photographs as social stories of flight steps, engines, seat belts and still having no clue whether he understands it all or not.
  • I’m jealous that your child does the actions to Itsy Bitsy Spider song and sings along.
  • I’m jealous that you go to bed and sleep for more than four hours.
  • I’m jealous that you can give your child food that is not beige.
  • Im jealous of your play dates.
  • I’m jealous of family trips to the cinema.
  • I’m jealous that when your child is ill, you can fix it and know what is wrong or where it hurts.
  • I’m jealous that any snippet of spare time I get to spend with my husband is spent discussing worries.
  • I’m jealous I don’t have time for friends.
  • I’m jealous that your child can tell you they love you.

I’m jealous of “normal.”

But you know what? I am also proud, extremely proud.

I’m proud of every tiny step he takes and celebrate each one. Be it touching a piece of fruit or watching a different kinder egg opening (current tally on one Thomas & Friends kinder egg video around about 2000 viewings).

I’m proud that he is loving. I’m proud that he is smart. I’m proud of how hard he tries.

I’m proud of the way his brothers adapt and encourage him. I’m proud of the strength in our family unit.

I’m really proud of Reilly and I’m really proud of us.

I have 3 beautiful boys and I am incredibly lucky.  I have no doubts there are people wishing they had what we have but sometimes I just can’t keep that green eyed monster at bay.

Jealous FB

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