To The Mother of the Child with Special Needs

There’s something I want you to know. My daughter’s heart is broken. For several weeks now, she’s been holed up in her bedroom listening to “Until I See You Again” on YouTube, while bawling her eyes out. She’s having nightmares and talking in her sleep. I can’t do anything to ease her hurt other than comfort her while she cries and listen when she talks about the pain she feels.

Your daughter with special needs was my (neuro-typical) daughter’s best friend at school and now, she’s gone. My daughter’s heart is broken because she misses her best friend.

Special needs parents worry if their kids'll be accepted by peers. Touching letter from typical mom to a special needs mom whose daughters were best friends

After three agonizing months of this current school year, it was determined that your very lovable, behaviorally-challenged little girl needs to be in a more extensive services school program geared for the issues of her unique social-emotional disabilities. A program that is not offered by our school district.

You’ve been forced to make the gut-wrenching decision to send your child to live with relatives in order for her to get the help she needs – you are not in a position to move to be in the district with the required program. This must have been one of scariest things you’ve done as a mother.

No parent should ever have to make a decision like that. Your daughter should be able to receive the help she needs without having to live with relatives. I commend you for being so courageous… so dedicated to doing right by this precious little girl of yours.

Moving quickly once the wheels were set in motion, your child was taken out of the mainstream school she has attended alongside my daughter since kindergarten. One day she was there, the next day gone.

Since she was also a latch-key kid, I never did get the chance to run into you and introduce myself. I never got a chance to share with you the magical bond between our girls. The enchanting innocence they shared encompassed them into a world all of their own. Their souls perfectly complimented the other and both shined brighter, lighting up the world around them.

In my daughter’s eyes, your child vanished into thin air.

My daughter is broken-hearted over the loss of her dearest friend. The girl you’ve probably spent countless sleepless nights worrying over, trying to protect from the harsh ways of the world. The child you more than likely have suffered panic attacks because of, from the endless amounts of worrying over whether she will ever find her niche in the world. Whether or not she will be socially accepted by her peers. Worrying about her happiness.

Your baby girl, indeed, has touched the life of one of her classmates. She had a best friend to look after her and help her find her way.

Your amazingly wonderful child had the power to impact and touch another child’s heart so deeply, the poor little girl is heartbroken over the loss of her extra special friend. Even though it was all done for the better, which is something my girl understands and is thankful for underneath her grief. Because she is, in fact, grieving for her severed friendship with your daughter.

Maybe someday this letter will reach you one day and you’ll know, without a doubt, that it’s your precious little girl with the stringy golden hair and bright, emerald colored doe eyes I’m talking about.

I hope it does. You deserve to know.

Not everyone sees the labels. There are those out there, like my own compassionate and tender-hearted daughter, who see past outer quirks and into her soul where beauty radiates, sparkles, and shines.

Special needs parents worry if their kids'll be accepted by peers. Touching letter from typical mom to a special needs mom whose daughters were best friendsAll is not dark in this world; especially with daughters like ours to set the world ablaze with their incandescent personalities. Your daughter’s disappearance may have inadvertently broken my little girl’s heart, but their friendship was undoubtedly worth every tear she sheds.

My daughter gave your daughter a fighting chance to persevere when bullies were lurking in the shadows and social expectations showed off her differences.

Your daughter gave mine the experience of a lifetime in compassion and empathy. They are both better people for knowing each other. It will always be a woeful regret of mine to never have had the chance to talk to you and tell you how wonderful we think your daughter is and give you a tiny bit of comfort in this perceptual mother-daughter-like relationship which developed between our girls.

Your family will remain in our family’s hearts, always praying for the best to come your way as you travel this difficult journey with your child. We will never forget the girl with special needs who’s leaving broke my daughter’s heart – for all the right reasons.

Thank you for sharing your daughter with mine for the little bit of time we had. I can never truly express how meaningful of an experience this was, I think it’s safe to say, for the both of them. My daughter will forever cherish the memories of her friend; the one who sat beside her in second grade, with their heads tilted in together like two birds in a nest.

 

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